25 Best-Kept Secrets of Nurses - Finally Spilled!

Every nurse carries a set of unspoken truths about the job. We keep them quiet to hold the peace, not because they aren't real. Here are 25 of them, spilled.

1. You have no idea how many times we have saved you.

A groggy resident orders a laxative for the patient who already has diarrhea, or doses the painkiller too low, or too high. We catch it and push to change it. We question anything that looks off, because we are the ones at your bedside around the clock. We know you better than the orders do. We protect the doctors and they protect us, so you rarely hear about the war that happened first.

2. Almost nothing fazes us anymore.

You walk into the ER with a knife in your arm? Lie down, let me patch you up, and tell me how it happened. We have seen worse before lunch.

3. We know when you are lying.

Sometimes we check on you before you know we are there. If you are laughing and texting until the second I walk in and start moaning, I am working hard not to roll my eyes. This is not a vacation spot, and no, I will not cut your food. I watched you text just fine.

4. We can also see through your drama.

A colleague once had a patient refusing a tetanus shot, whining and threatening to leave, his body covered head to toe in tattoos. After an hour of convincing, he finally consented. She picked a needle with a wider bore than usual and gave the injection with a straight face. He wasted her time. She made her point.

5. Most shifts, we don't feel like heroes.

We just want the shift to end so we can crash. Plenty of us think about quitting. Then you say a real thank you, or you notice the moment we went out of our way for you, and suddenly we feel like we can conquer the world. Appreciate us and you will get the extra blanket, the second coffee, the small things, without asking. We respond to kindness in kind.

6. How you treat me gets passed to the next nurse.

My colleagues have been my allies for years, and they trust my word over yours. If you are difficult and rude, the whole team hears about it before the next shift starts.

7. Somehow everything is our fault.

A delayed X-ray result from another department lands on us. Disrespectful family members yell at us, and so do our own senior nurses, and it stings. So we cry in the bathroom, dust ourselves off, and come back bright. The show goes on.

8. Sometimes we don't wait for the prescription.

If we can get away with it, we move before the written order lands. You are dropping weight fast, so you get a supplement or two with your meals before the dietitian rounds. In nursing homes this is constant, since dietitians come once a month. Experience already tells us what they will recommend.

9. Sometimes we ask you to do something that feels strange.

Hold your dying mother's hand. Climb onto the bed and snuggle her. It feels awkward, but we have sat with death enough times to know what a dying person needs, and it is love and closeness in the last hours. Years on the job sharpen that radar.

10. We hate charting.

It eats the shift. But the mantra holds: if it's not documented, it didn't happen. We chart to cover ourselves, because the threat of a lawsuit is always there. That is our kryptonite.

11. Just ask for the good stuff.

Be good to your nurse and your nurse is good to you. We know where the extra pillows and blankets are. All you have to do is ask.

12. The physician relies on us the most.

You trust the doctor's call, but the doctor's call already includes ours. Your doctor asks for our assessment before deciding. You can say you feel fine and ready for discharge, but if your nurse caught you wincing and rubbing your chest, the doctor takes the nurse's word. We spend the hours with you. Call it nosy. You're welcome.

13. Stop googling your symptoms.

Knowing your condition is good. Deciding your snoring means a throat tumor because WebMD said so is not. You are almost certainly overreacting.

14. We have a love-hate relationship with the job.

Some days we feel built to heal people. Other days we want to run screaming into the woods. Burnout and compassion fatigue are real risks. It takes a brave heart to show up for the next shift anyway.

15. A code looks flawless from the outside.

Everyone moves in sync, like we can do no wrong. What you don't see is that before we got that smooth, we cried in the toilet after a doctor called us slow in front of everyone. Stupid. Pathetic. Useless. That is part of the learning curve, and part of a culture where seniors eat their young and we take our frustrations out on each other.

16. Forgive us when we miss the holidays.

What is Christmas? It's today? What are we celebrating on January 1 again? This job erases the calendar.

17. We don't need the gym. We lift patients.

Repositioning you keeps your skin intact and free of pressure sores. Obesity rates keep climbing, and lifting a patient safely still risks our backs even with proper technique and equipment. Cut the soda and the sugar. It helps both of us.

18. We have a dark sense of humor.

Ring the call bell of an empty room, then grab a colleague by the ankles when they come to check. Build a squirt gun out of syringes. Talk about poop while eating chocolate mousse on break. Our jokes are green enough to make a dead grandmother turn in her grave. It is how we cope.

19. We gossip.

About your personal life, too. We keep your secrets among ourselves and we don't judge you. We just can't always resist.

20. Don't say the "Q" word.

Never tell an ER nurse it's quiet. Acknowledging a slow shift guarantees an influx. We are superstitious about it for a reason.

21. The full moon is real.

When everything is screaming, spitting, and going mad, check the sky. If you are planning a hospital trip on a full moon, pick another night.

22. We get objectified, a lot.

Blame the raunchy nurse fantasy. Our hair is a mess because we have been running for twelve hours. That is not sexy. And no, we are not flirting. We are being kind. We spent a whole semester on professional boundaries.

23. We love your gifts, but thank you is plenty.

Meals, donuts, cake, we appreciate all of it. The gesture alone lifts our spirits.

24. We are starving and haven't peed.

We skip lunch and hold it for hours because your needs come first. Nursing moves too fast for breaks. Your comfort comes ahead of ours, every day.

25. We are full of love, despite the stress.

When we walk you and your family through the plan, we treat it like family. Ask us for anything. Underneath the exhaustion, we are here to serve you.

These truths are the same in nearly every hospital, passed from one generation of nurses to the next. Be patient with us. If we snap, it doesn't mean we are angry at you, only that we have hit the end of a very long stick, and it takes a lot of bad to get us there. Nursing is like New York. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.